Hooray for everything!

If misery is an art form, I know more than a few Da Vincis. Indeed, being Irish, gloom is part of our very fibre, a strange flipside to our reputation for being the life and soul of any party. Any party with alcohol. Recent economic and meteorological events have fuelled the perverse satisfaction we get when things actually are going wrong, probably because then we don’t have to invent things to moan about. In short, being unhappy is just too easy. And since I love a challenge, I’ve compiled a list of things that make life worth living. For me anyway, if you think I’ve missed out anything, throw a comment in, this is a list I hope to add to!

 

·      Radiator pants

Radiator pants is where this whole idea began. A delightful comedic fellow by the name of Russell Howard first put the idea of radiator pants forward as the best reason he could think of as to why a man shouldn’t throw himself off a building (it’s actually a great and poignant observational bit that I’ve just ruined but check it out). And I agree. If there’s anything guaranteed to get me out of bed on a winter’s morning or out of a lukewarm bath (or probably a rooftop, if it ever came to that), it’s the promise of a radiator-toasted garment. I take my hat off to you sir.

Toasty

 

·      A nice cup of tea

There are few things I enjoy more than a really good cuppa, yet it’s surprisingly elusive. That is because I suffer from a condition (possibly genetic as I share it with my dad) where I CANNOT make decent tea. Try as I might, with variations on teabags, milk brands and water boiling times, many cups of tea I make taste like dishwater. I’d say of my usual 3-a-day average, maybe 2 cups of tea a week will be drinkable, and the rest need to be forcibly choked down. 

There's only one way to find out...

So why do I persist? Well, like many things in life, it’s the really good cup-o-teas that keep you going back for more. Also I do not even remotely understand it. I have however, noted in my studies a few observations:

1. Tea made for you always tastes better than tea you make yourself.

2. Tea after any sort of stress/effort/deprivation is generally delicious, particularly if alcohol has been added “for medicinal reasons”. (Note: This recipe is not recommended for everyday use).

3. Tea can be successfully reheated in the microwave without losing its flavour, though you may suffer loss of social standing as others will judge you. But that’s just because they haven’t tried it.

4. Milk goes in LAST. Don’t mess with that, it’s like, science.

5. Best dunking biccies – Boasters chocolate and hazelnut. Amazilicious.

6. Along with toast, tea can cure most minor ailments and is the number one treatment for people undergoing traumatic events in tv soap operas.

First aid kit

 

·      Having a moment

I don’t know how else to describe this one, but it’s these moments in life, where the monotony of the norm is broken by some event, even for a second, and you find yourself unexpectedly connecting with another person, well, it’s a good feeling. It could be anything; a smile from a randomer on the bus, reliving some hilariously scarring childhood event with a old friend, or the first time you realise you love someone - these moments can encompass a wide range of pleasantly gut-wrenching situations. The thing I like best though, is that they’re difficult to fake. Having a moment is a fragile, practically indefinable process, and a pretty rare thing. Then you watch tv and realise some situation you thought was special has become a cliché overnight and is now being used to sell cheese.

The moment when I meet my future husband. He may not be much to look at, but he'll understand the comic genius of Bea Arthur. We will both claim to have met online.

·    Monkeys

Don’t think I need to explain this one; monkeys are clearly awesome. Next time you feel a bit rubbish, look at a monkey. Instant cheering up, every time. In fact, I’d say anti-depressants would be much more effective if they had pictures of monkeys on the bottle. I like to think that someone, somewhere, is working on this…

If you don't find this hilarious, there IS something seriously wrong with you

 

·      Music

Little explanation required – music is so innate to humanity that practically every culture has developed its own style. This can be seen on a stroll up Grafton Street, where on any given day you’re likely to encounter a diverse range of sounds, from the feathery pan-pipe dudes, the make-shift drummers, the bagpipe guy (avec kilt, for the pleasure of hen parties) all the way to “the junkie rapper”. Indeed music can range greatly, from the sublime to makes-me-want-to-somehow-vomit-into-my-own-ears, and can thus be powerfully divisive. And I’ll admit it, I’m musically prejudiced. For some reason punks are my mortal enemy. Don’t know why, just always have been. Any acquaintances of mine reading this who have a penchant for ugly safety-pinned hairdos tunelessly shouting out of time to terrible guitar backing, know that you must have some seriously over-powering alternate levels of cool to have survived in my social sphere. Either that or I hate you, why are you still here?

I am so scarlet for your ma right now

·      Getting to a bus stop just as a bus arrives

If, like me, you have a pathological hatred of being too early or late, there are few things better than catching an arbitrarily timed bus. Take that world, I WIN! Bonus points if your card won’t scan and you get a free journey. Super bonus if the driver sings to you (happened to me just last week). Basically, daily life could be greatly improved if it were somehow more like video games. Unless you had to fight your boss at the end of the day.

This princess had better be worth it...

 

And some other things, non-exhaustive and in no particular order:

·      Food

·      Sunny days

·      Kissing

·      The sea

·      Great books

·      Being safe somewhere dangerous

·      Laughing

·      Playing

·      Bill Murray

·      Good company

·      Inspiration

Dammit, none of these beats radiator pants!